I never meant for it to feel like this... like ever part of me was bruised

As we all know music is a very big part of my life. For those of you that know me pretty well music is how I express feelings. I don't write my own music by any means since I simply am not that cool, but when I hear a song I can say that that particular lyric is how I feel but I could never just come out and say what I am feeling. Believe me when I say I am trying to learn to express feelings without the influence of music. On to the real reason for this post. The other day while I was cleaning my ipod was on shuffle so every song was a surprise and up came one of my favorite songs ever, Carried Away by George Straight and I thought to myself that no matter how emo or hard rockish or even vulgar my music got my heart would always truly belong to the King of Country. I mean how can you even deny this man amazing status he has been making number one hits for longer than I have been alive!!! I will admit that when I hear him sing the sappy girl comes out and loves those country love songs that makes me believe in the prince charming that will someday come sweep me off my feet.I owe all of this to my mom, she listened to him all while I was growing up and I was able to experience just how great he really was at such a young age. I was able to see Mr. George in concert a few years ago and compared to all the concerts I have been to it probably was the best. He didn't have the crazy light show or fog machine, it was just him and his guitar and he sang to me.

I still want to pitch for the yankees

I recently had a meeting with my advisement coordinator to discuss classes and graduation and applying to grad school and it really got me thinking what now... I have been planing and setting these goals since freshman year of high school and it kinda pains me to say that was almost 8 years ago. My whole life revolved around getting an education and becoming successful. Yes I still have grad school but that program is only 2 years I will officially be done with school in less than 3 years, I used to feel that day was so far away and now the day scares me. What will I do after that? What dreams will I have to aspire for? Is that the pivotal moment when I will be forced to settle down? All I know is I will never settle for less than I expect and I expect the best. Here is to dreaming big!!

We've been dropping twitter bombs from the sky...

Why hello out there bloggers!!! It has been quite some time since I last posted an entry and thus I have issued myself a challenge to write more in hopes it will help me in my future endeavors. I'm not going to do the whole 30 day challenge or enlightenment or whatnot because that's just not my style. One major inspiration for this goal is my dearest cousin Kelsey Jo who is an aspiring journalist and possibly one of the funniest people I know! Thanks for all you do Kels, mostly helping me wallow in the Maverik sorrows and gossip!! Enough of trying to explain myself lets get to the good stuff...
Well it is March possibly one of my favorite months of the year simply because of the NCAA basketball tournament. Basketball has been one of my favorite things since I was just a little tyke. I remember being in early elementary school and not being able to wait until Friday night when I got to watch my big bro play. My dad was always my coach when playing junior jazz and ever since I just can't get enough. One day I would like to be able to coach and instill my love in hearts of young children. My favorite team is of course the Duke Blue devils, they have so many aspects about them that has forever made them an amazing program. Coach K is one of my favorite coaches and I think he has such an amazing influence on his players. I would love to see them win another national championship, but my heart has a special place for the BYU Cougars and the outstanding Jimmer Fredette. Jimmer is a candidate for the national player of the year going up against the likes of players from schools that everyone talks about and are constantly making sports center. I would like to see him receive this great honor because it would show that the program has the skill to run with the big dogs. Thursday starts the sweet 16 and then is when we will know if these great teams last to see another game...

Ask Me What It's Like To Have Myself So Figured Out

It seems like everyone around me is getting married and having kids. Every time I turn around I have another invite to join a group because someone needs addresses for wedding announcements. This has brought 2 questions to my mind: 1. What are they thinking? If this is a way to make yourself feel like an adult, why are you in such a rush to grow up. You're only young once and you should enjoy the time that you can spend with your friends and the ones that bring out the best in you. I think what bothers me most about all this marriage talk is I don't understand it. You're young how can be certain you're in love and this other person is the one that will be what you want or need. There have been times that I have thought I was in love but now when I look back I'm not sure I could really give a straight answer about what I feel love really is. The whole high school sweetheart thing is another thing I don't get. Like yes, it is cute but again how can you know when there is so much more out there that the world has to discover. Why are you not going out to discover yourself and figure out what you want out of life. I just can't see myself giving up my dreams and ambitions for someone else. Being a student there are so much added stress of homework, tests, and projects why would you want to put that on top of the major stress of being married and supporting a family? The second question that comes to mind is what seems to be my problem? Yeah, I don't want the marriage or super serious relationship but is it to much to ask for a companion just to have someone to talk to and confide in. Or what is so unattractive about a girl who has a five year plan and knows what she wants out of life and has ambition. I am so sick of everyone asking the question of why I'm not married yet, well I will tell you why. I don't want to feel like my life is over after I get married. I want to experience what the world has to offer me. I don't think that marriage should be a cop out or just the next step. It is something that should mean the world to you and I know that when I believe I have figured out how to make myself happy and will be able to find someone that compliments that not completes.

The Name Is Staley... Carlee Staley Agent DoUbLe [OH] NiNe!!!

My secret agent status has officially been reached!!! A couple nights ago my dearest best friend Whitney and I had the privilege of breaking into my own house!! We had to run to walmart to get some disposable cups and we left in a fit of joy I closed down the garage door and ran under it not even thinking if the front door was locked... well we got back to my house and I quote "OH ShIt!!!... we might be locked out" So i went to the door and sure enough it was locked and sitting on the coffee table were my keys... I didn't need them i wasn't driving, but it didn't occur to me that maybe I would need to get back into the house! I called my dad to ask if he knew if any of the relatives had an extra key to the house and guess what... THEY DIDN'T!!! After repeatedly trying to bust in the door, and that is probably the reason my shoulder and trap muscle hurt, we tried to open the windows from the outside, lift up the garage door, pick the locks, and absolutely nothing was working... this wasn't looking promising!! I remembered I had a couple screw drivers, a leather man, and a flash light in my car... maybe we could figure something out with that. My dad called back and I told him I was just going to bust a window in and he didn't like that idea and said to find the screw on the window and take the window off... UH OKAY!!! So we're looking and not finding and still trying to pick locks... still not making progress! We move to the windows in the back and bam the screws were found took them out but still couldn't get the window out so whit is holding the screw driver and I'm kicking it trying to pry the window loose! And success was reached it moved!! We had officially broke into my own house and I can add that to my resume of tricks!!! From now on my bad ass status can never be denied!!!

Lifes Little Lessons

New quote to live my life by "Sometimes your Knight in Shining Armour is just a Retard in tin foil!" This can be looked at one of two ways... First, the guy that you believed to be perfect turned out to be something far from that. Two, Even though you know you deserve that knight in shining armour you just setter for the retard because he is there at that moment. Recently I have had an encounter with the first example. Just about a year and a half ago one of my friends had me call one of his friends and we started talking on a regular basis. We started sharing details of our lives that you only tell those who are closest to you, I felt so comfortable talking to him. This guy had become the man of my dreams... LITERALLY!!! He made me feel so special and made me feel wanted. Worst of all he made me happy. I became that stupid love sick girl who could see herself spending the rest of her life with this special someone. For a year and a half it was this guy and only him even though he was hundreds of miles away. I couldn't imagine my life without him. A month ago I went to go see him and it was probably the worst trip of my life. This guy that was supposed to be perfect basically blew me off and I spent 90% of my time sitting around in a hotel only to find out when he was taking me to the airport that him and his ex girlfriend were talking about giving it another shot. I never even got a chance!He was everything I ever hoped for and my worst fear came true and I wasn't good enough. This guy that I trusted with everything and believed in had let me down. I jumped hoping to fly and I fell like a rock! I'm really just sick of being the one that takes the chance and puts myself out there and getting hurt... I can't take much more of this! It has been a month and I still think about him all the time... everything I see and everything I do reminds me of him and it takes all I have not to send him a text when something happens because I just want to share it with him. I don't full on bawl my eyes out as much anymore, but every now and then I am reminded and my eyes fill with tears and at least one rolls down my cheek. I'm trying so hard to stay busy but it isn't exactly working in my favor, but I guess we will see what the next few months bring. Wish me luck!

Summer in Evanston

I have officially been home for about a month and I'm not going to lie... I wish I wasn't. Its hard to come back home after you have been on my own for so long and then come home to nothing... No friends, no life, it is just work and those awesome online classes trying to stay on track. I even feel like I need to get another job because I have become so bored. Also that other job will sure come in handy because I think I need to go to California, but it will be quite fantastic :D!!! I guess I will just keep on keepin on until I get those little moments that make me remember that it will be okay. There is only 3 months left then it is back to Ogden, and I can't wait but until then I'm stuck in Evanston to rott to my death at the maverik! Wish me luch :D