Not Everyone Is Born Magic Johnson

I have worked at the Maverik since I was 15 and that means my seventh year anniversary is sneaking upon me. After I graduated high school I still came home every weekend to work and that is what I contribute not having friends at school to. I have been in college for 4 years and have not spent one weekend in Ogden. It is very frustrating because unlike other college kids I am forced to come home and don't do it because I want to. I started my first day of summer working today and I will basically work everyday until I go back to school at the end of august and then it will be back to every weekend. I totally respect that this is supposed to be a stepping stone to a better place and I am grateful that I have learned responsibility but seriously how much do I have to hate my life before I can't handle it anymore. My cousin has always been working there with me and this summer she isn't she will be staying at her school and working there for the summer and I'm not sure how I will be able to handle the next 4 months.

The Old Me is Dead and Gone...Dead and Gone... Dead and Gone

Little baby Brylee is officially a year old!!! For those of you who don't know, Brylee is one of my good friends baby and she is so stinkin cute!! But she isn't the main reason for this post, it's the fact that the last year so much has happened and it has flown by. It is almost crazy for me to think that in little over 3 weeks I will be turning 22 and I kinda feel so unaccomplished. Because of recent events I have been forced to learn a lot about myself and I truly am grateful that I do have the opportunity to lean and better myself. I have always known that I am horribly at expressing feeling and opening up to people and I think that could possibly be part of the reason I lost one of my best friends and a guy that I believed to be perfect. From this I am trying to be more open and honest with my feelings and actually addressing them. Another thing that I have discovered is that I think to much and over analyze the situation. Realizing this I have decided I'm going to try and relax and just take things as they come. Yes I believe that everything happens for a reason but I also believe that I have the power to influence an outcome. Since everything happens for a reason and with my new found revelation I'm going to try and not figure out what that reason is and just roll with the punches. I was watching a movie today and this song came on and it also inspired these thoughts the beginning and chorus really hit me and it goes a little something like this:
I am woman, hear me roar
In numbers too big to ignore
And I know too much to go back an' pretend
'cause I've heard it all before
And I've been down there on the floor
No one's ever gonna keep me down again

CHORUS
Oh yes I am wise
But it's wisdom born of pain
Yes, I've paid the price
But look how much I gained
If I have to, I can do anything
I am strong (strong)
I am invincible (invincible)
I am woman

And there you have it... I'm learning, hoping, dreaming, and believing. Here is to the next year of my life may it be filled with just as many of life's little lessons and being a strong independent woman. <3

I never meant for it to feel like this... like ever part of me was bruised

As we all know music is a very big part of my life. For those of you that know me pretty well music is how I express feelings. I don't write my own music by any means since I simply am not that cool, but when I hear a song I can say that that particular lyric is how I feel but I could never just come out and say what I am feeling. Believe me when I say I am trying to learn to express feelings without the influence of music. On to the real reason for this post. The other day while I was cleaning my ipod was on shuffle so every song was a surprise and up came one of my favorite songs ever, Carried Away by George Straight and I thought to myself that no matter how emo or hard rockish or even vulgar my music got my heart would always truly belong to the King of Country. I mean how can you even deny this man amazing status he has been making number one hits for longer than I have been alive!!! I will admit that when I hear him sing the sappy girl comes out and loves those country love songs that makes me believe in the prince charming that will someday come sweep me off my feet.I owe all of this to my mom, she listened to him all while I was growing up and I was able to experience just how great he really was at such a young age. I was able to see Mr. George in concert a few years ago and compared to all the concerts I have been to it probably was the best. He didn't have the crazy light show or fog machine, it was just him and his guitar and he sang to me.